I don’t know how to write this, hell, I don’t even know the extent of what I’m writing this time around. All I know is that there is a pattern, a pattern between people that I have seen for so long, a pattern that has destroyed every leap I’ve taken: hesitation. When you put yourself into someone else’s life, you become developed into their story as you open your own gates to let them into yours. The bond there already is one that can spark much interest, happiness, and love. But when you start to spend time together, so many things can happen. This can lead to the two of you hurting each other in one way or another, questioning what true connection you guys really had. Or maybe it leads the two of you down to finding compassion, exhilaration, and even love.
The truth of the world is that you never know what’s gonna happen, in any event or relationship or scenario. The world has infinite possibilities and that’s strongly due to each person’s own perspective on the situation. When people hesitate from having a good thing in their lives, it’s usually because they have seen events in the past that have given them good reason to have that reaction. Maybe it’s because of the death of someone close, or that their focus can’t leave sight of their work ethic. But there’s the one thing I have always heard every hesitant person say to me at moments in my life where I could have had great strides in my story. Six words: “I don’t want to hurt you”….Words that cause more pain than whatever the actual ‘possible’ action could be down the road.
People have this false truth that their human nature is that they don’t want to hurt others as there reason for hesitating, for saying no, for denying a potentially amazing opportunity. I think that in reality, saying you don’t want to try something that you know makes you happy, because you don’t want to hurt someone, is exactly what causes pain, what hurts that person, because you make them feel that they aren’t even worth trying at all. You make them feel like they put everything in, acted exactly the way they needed to, to make sure that you didn’t feel like you were just going to be in another shtty situation, they make you feel happy and empowered, and they feel like it’s all going well and they finally confess their feelings, something they were never going to do because they didn’t want to screw up. Because they felt that they could open to you because they thought it was gonna go well. Unfortunately, they know deep down it won’t but they will try anyways because that’s what we in this world have to do.
When you’re young, when you’re exploring, you just have to say screw it and jump into the unknown. When you hesitate, all is loss, because you don’t let in the good because you’re scared that it’s gonna be the same as the bad. When you deny yourself happiness because you knew what it was like to lose it, you lose even more of yourself. Maybe it’s just a silver lining, but I have it on good authority that even a chance like that can bring you more than you ever have had. If there is something wrong with me, good, I need those things because they help me venture into the unknown, they make me feel me, and I will jump to every opportunity I can because I know what it’s like to lose out on one, to lose in one and to lose everything I had and everything I could have had. It seems to be all or nothing in this world. We are too scared that we are gonna screw up and that fear stops us from trying our unsure thoughts, from trying the middle ground, the unknown, which is exactly what causes us to screw up, to lose out on something that we have always been chasing and yet never caught because the chase was all we knew, that it was the safest for us, because no one can hurt us but us. But that’s the world, that’s life, we are gonna hit hard into walls towering so high, but together we can find a way through it, even if that means we have to crash. Don’t hesitate, don’t give yourself an excuse for why things shouldn’t be, especially when there are so many reasons to why they could.
No matter what we go through, no matter how hard things can get and no matter how much we are reminded of the past, we always have a silver lining in knowing the happiness we can find together, and there shouldn’t be any hesitation to believing that.